Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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