Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
