Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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