Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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