Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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