I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
