Umm I'm too high to move.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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