i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
