I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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