Old men and throwing up are my life now.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
