You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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