remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
