Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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