you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
