chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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