i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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