ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My feet surprised me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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