I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
