So drunk, too bad you don't want this
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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