a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
