The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
