mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
