So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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