It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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