they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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