another moral hangover. fuck.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
