I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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