What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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