I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
