I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
