I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
