Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
