I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
