is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
