I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
