A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
