Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
