So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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