I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
