Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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