So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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