I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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