I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Someone came in the potted fern
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
