Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
