Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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