I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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