The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
