Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
