Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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