just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
