don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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