I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
