I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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