There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
