I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
