nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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