A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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